I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
