People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
