are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They are going to name an STD after you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
