Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
