Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
