dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
