Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
