I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
