please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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