i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
