just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
