mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
