i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
