I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
