Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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