One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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