3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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