fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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