There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
