I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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