she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
