i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
