But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
