I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
