Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
