I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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