im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
