it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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