I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
