I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
