so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
