Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
