I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
