my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
