His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
