do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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