you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
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