Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
