I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
