Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
