So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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