There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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