Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
