There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
