I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
