Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
