..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
