worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
