Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
