my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my sisters under your porch take her home
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
