And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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