I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We are two peas in an std pod
i drank out of a bidet.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
