I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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