i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
