We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
