I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
